With Survivors, Always - A Special October Reminder
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and this year’s theme, “With Survivors, Always,” captures exactly what this space stands for. Every story, reflection, and resource I share here is written to remind you that your voice matters and that you’re not alone in what you’ve lived through.
In honour of DVAW Month, and to make these Supporter-only posts accessible to more readers who might need them, annual Supporter subscriptions are 35% off through October.
Over the past two months since launching the Supporter space, I’ve shared nine new pieces that explore both the experience of abuse and the slow, complex work of reclaiming yourself afterward. Some are personal stories that reveal how control operates in ordinary moments; others are survivor insights, reflections, and practical tools for understanding what happened and finding your footing again.
Here’s a glimpse of what’s waiting inside the Supporter library.
Personal Reflection and Insight Articles
What One Glass of Milk Taught Me About Coercive Control
This story begins with something as ordinary as a glass of milk, and becomes a reflection on how deeply control can take root. It shows how coercive control lingers in the smallest habits, long after the abuser is gone. Ultimately, it’s about the quiet, defiant act of choosing for yourself again, and what that choice can teach you about freedom.
Letter From an Abuser: A Masterclass in Manipulation
When abusers reach out after you’ve left, every word is a calculated hook designed to pull you back. This article dissects a real manipulative letter, exposing how false promises, veiled threats, and emotional leverage work together to destabilise survivors. By recognising these tactics, you can trust your instincts and shield yourself from their psychological warfare.
Why Leaving Abuse Doesn’t Feel Brave – Until You Look Back
When I left my abusive husband, I didn’t feel brave. I felt terrified, fragile, exhausted, and broken. There was no cinematic moment of triumph, no sudden empowerment. Over time, I’ve realised that our idea of strength - loud, fearless, decisive - misses the truth entirely when it comes to abuse. Real bravery is not the absence of fear. It’s finding a way to move forward in spite of it.
Downloadable Worksheets
By the time I left my abusive husband, I couldn’t tell where he ended and I began. I had absorbed so much of him that I had lost all sense of myself. In domestic abuse, your voice, your feelings, and your choices grow quieter until you hardly recognise yourself at all. This worksheet helps you explore the parts of you that went quiet in the relationship and how you can invite them back in.
I once told my therapist my husband was “just a bit controlling”. What I couldn’t yet see was that I was living inside a system of coercive control that shaped every choice, every word, and every interaction. In this piece, I share how I came to name it, why survivors often can’t see abuse until long after, and how to tell the difference between controlling behaviour and coercive control – with a downloadable worksheet to guide your own reflection.
Monthly Q & As
When Doubt, Minimising, and Rebuilding Feel Overwhelming
This Q&A is about something many survivors carry - the lingering weight of doubt, the urge to downplay what we went through, & the overwhelming process of rebuilding when everything feels broken. These are the ongoing battles that continue long after the relationship is over.
Finding Acceptance in What We Can’t Control
This Q&A brings together questions that speak to one of the hardest truths survivors face - letting go of the control we don’t have. They touch on the ache of watching an abuser spread lies, the helplessness of seeing someone else pulled into coercive control, and the longing for an abuser to finally recognise the damage they have caused.
Survivor Insights
Do Survivors Need to Forgive to Move On?
Forgiveness is one of the most loaded words survivors hear. Some are told they must forgive to heal, but lived experience tells a more complicated story. These survivor reflections reveal that forgiveness is never one-size-fits-all, and everyone has the right to choose their own path.
Leaving an abusive relationship isn’t a single act - it’s a long fight for freedom from inside a cage built from fear, hope, control, and survival. In this Survivor Insights piece, survivors share what it truly feels like to be psychologically and practically imprisoned by abuse.
🌿 This month’s offer is about making sure these words, reflections, and resources reach as many people as possible while allowing me to keep most of my work free for all.
Becoming a Supporter not only helps sustain this platform for those who can’t afford to pay, it also welcomes you into a smaller, more personal space of connection, reflection, and care.