Monthly Q&A: Finding Acceptance in What We Can’t Control

This month’s Q&A brings together questions that speak to one of the hardest truths survivors face - letting go of the control we don’t have. After living for so long under someone else’s control, it is natural to feel the urge to put things right, to defend our name, or to protect others from what we now recognise so clearly. Part of healing is recognising where our power truly lies, where it does not, and how to find clarity, strength, and acceptance within those limits.

These are not easy questions. They are the ones that keep us awake at night and often feel unfair and unresolved. They touch on the ache of watching an abuser spread lies, the helplessness of seeing someone else pulled into coercive control, and the longing for an abuser to finally recognise the damage they have caused.

Together, they point to the same truth, the desire to intervene where we cannot, and the courage it takes to reach acceptance.

Q1: “How do you let go of the need to set the record straight? Knowing he is spreading lies about me and our relationship just eats me alive. It’s just so wrong, hateful and cruel.”