By the time I left my abusive ex-husband, I honestly didn’t know what were my likes, dislikes, wishes, or opinions, and what were his. I had absorbed so much of him that I had lost track of myself. Even years later, I sometimes catch myself asking: Do I actually like this, or was that just what he liked?
This is what I call the slow fade of self. It’s made up of countless small moments, like a hobby set aside, an opinion left unspoken, a friendship that quietly slips away. Each one might seem minor on its own, but over time they add up to a profound erosion of identity.
In this post, I’m sharing a reflection on how this fading happens, what it feels like to notice it later, and the impact it leaves behind. Alongside it, I’ve created a downloadable worksheet designed to help you explore the parts of you that went quiet and begin inviting them back.
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