A hallmark of coercive control in relationships is the micromanagement of daily life —rigid rules, restrictions, and expectations enforced to control a partner's actions, thoughts, and personal freedom.
Wow, your experience really resonated with me. I married young to someone a bit older and the coercive control started right after moving out of state to be with him. After 27 years and 2 wonderful kids, I left. I just had an epiphany one day while driving in the car with him and being lectured once again for breaking a rule I didn’t even know about. I thought “wouldn’t it be great if I didn’t have to feel this constant dread and worry.” I had never thought about divorce before but as soon as it entered my mind, I felt more free than I had in a long time. I still have moments where I find myself stressed about certain situations and have to calm myself and remember that I make my own decisions now and I’m okay. Good luck to you on your journey.
Yes, it's absolutely debilitating. I can't imagine growing up with it. A child doesn't stand any chance to counter this type of dominance, but I am so glad that as an adult, you've been able to. 💛
I hear you 😞 and wish you best of luck on your journey 💜 it took me a long time to understand and accept that people listen to what I said, as what I said never mattered to either of my parents. And I almost had an epiphany when I realized that I could really get up and go and not listen to anybody's insults and mocking. And it didn't make me weak or too sensitive, but someone who has self respect.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you've done a huge amount of healing work and recovery of your sense of worth, which is amazing 💛
It saddens and angers me how growing up with abusive parents leads you into abusive relationships and with entire society and the system of patriarchy being against you when you try to leave. Thank you for your work and support
My experience was similar.
I'm sorry to hear you went through it too 😔
Wow, your experience really resonated with me. I married young to someone a bit older and the coercive control started right after moving out of state to be with him. After 27 years and 2 wonderful kids, I left. I just had an epiphany one day while driving in the car with him and being lectured once again for breaking a rule I didn’t even know about. I thought “wouldn’t it be great if I didn’t have to feel this constant dread and worry.” I had never thought about divorce before but as soon as it entered my mind, I felt more free than I had in a long time. I still have moments where I find myself stressed about certain situations and have to calm myself and remember that I make my own decisions now and I’m okay. Good luck to you on your journey.
Yes, it's absolutely debilitating. I can't imagine growing up with it. A child doesn't stand any chance to counter this type of dominance, but I am so glad that as an adult, you've been able to. 💛
I hear you 😞 and wish you best of luck on your journey 💜 it took me a long time to understand and accept that people listen to what I said, as what I said never mattered to either of my parents. And I almost had an epiphany when I realized that I could really get up and go and not listen to anybody's insults and mocking. And it didn't make me weak or too sensitive, but someone who has self respect.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you've done a huge amount of healing work and recovery of your sense of worth, which is amazing 💛
Thank you for your support 💜 still a long way to go
I'm right there with you, walking that path of healing.
It saddens and angers me how growing up with abusive parents leads you into abusive relationships and with entire society and the system of patriarchy being against you when you try to leave. Thank you for your work and support
Yes, it's incredibly sad.
I didn't have abusive parents, but I spent 10 years in a cult prior to my relationship and, through that, control had become my 'normal'.