In abusive relationships, perpetrators will exploit any vulnerability to dominate their partners, and sadly, that often includes using the couple's own children as tools of manipulation and control.
I can relate. A good friend tried to leave her very abusive marriage several times since 2014. She kept “going back” to protect the children, due to financial abuse, she believed the perpetrator may be capable of murdering their children & the perpetrator had had her detained ~ 16 times under the mental HELLth act. She was well aware that he would continue to accuse her of being “mentally ill”.
My then-fiancée's ex and his new wife launched a vicious campaign against the children's mother. He blackmailed her, paid no child support (of course, he worked full time and earned a good salary), paid ZERO for school expenses (books, stationery, excursions, special courses), bought the children with expensive gifts their mother - on a pension because of ill health - couldn't even dream of affording, constantly quibbles over Christmas visitation, ignored mediation requests. It was psychological terrorism par excellence. My fiancée already had PTSD. It became CPTSD. She was so paralysed with terror that she could do nothing to protect her children. The only positive is that the children were not in danger of being killed ...
Psychological terrorism is exactly what it is! They all seem to operate out of the same playbook because there is such a high percentage of abusers that will follow these precise tactics. It is so crippling for the victim and the children, keeping them trapped in perpetual abuse and control with devastating effects on all of them. Did she get full custody of her children eventually?
Sadly, no. She tolerated the intolerable until they were old enough to "make their own decisions," which is how the ex and his Consort planned it. Meanwhile, they managed to brainwash both her daughters. The elder allegedly hates her mother, while the younger, though spending school time with her, has been trained, as was her sister before her, to report back to the ex and his Consort everything that happens in her mother's house.
Any advice on protecting the children that are court ordered to have time with the manipulating ex would be grately received by me!!! Going through this right now, having to send my children somewhere i KNOW they are being emotionally harmed is mentally debilitating. I hate not being able to protect them, or help without being accused of "alienating" them.
I can relate. A good friend tried to leave her very abusive marriage several times since 2014. She kept “going back” to protect the children, due to financial abuse, she believed the perpetrator may be capable of murdering their children & the perpetrator had had her detained ~ 16 times under the mental HELLth act. She was well aware that he would continue to accuse her of being “mentally ill”.
The oldest trick in the book right?
What goes around comes around…
🦉
How absolutely awful for your friend. I hope she and her children are safe now!
My then-fiancée's ex and his new wife launched a vicious campaign against the children's mother. He blackmailed her, paid no child support (of course, he worked full time and earned a good salary), paid ZERO for school expenses (books, stationery, excursions, special courses), bought the children with expensive gifts their mother - on a pension because of ill health - couldn't even dream of affording, constantly quibbles over Christmas visitation, ignored mediation requests. It was psychological terrorism par excellence. My fiancée already had PTSD. It became CPTSD. She was so paralysed with terror that she could do nothing to protect her children. The only positive is that the children were not in danger of being killed ...
Psychological terrorism is exactly what it is! They all seem to operate out of the same playbook because there is such a high percentage of abusers that will follow these precise tactics. It is so crippling for the victim and the children, keeping them trapped in perpetual abuse and control with devastating effects on all of them. Did she get full custody of her children eventually?
Sadly, no. She tolerated the intolerable until they were old enough to "make their own decisions," which is how the ex and his Consort planned it. Meanwhile, they managed to brainwash both her daughters. The elder allegedly hates her mother, while the younger, though spending school time with her, has been trained, as was her sister before her, to report back to the ex and his Consort everything that happens in her mother's house.
Absolutely heartbreaking 💔
Any advice on protecting the children that are court ordered to have time with the manipulating ex would be grately received by me!!! Going through this right now, having to send my children somewhere i KNOW they are being emotionally harmed is mentally debilitating. I hate not being able to protect them, or help without being accused of "alienating" them.
I found something in every example of coercive tactics used by my family and the people that they smeared me against my whole life… the gold mine… TY