When you are belittled and humiliated in front of friends it is almost impossible to bring the abuser to account in the moment as your friends will squirm with discomfort and it may jeopardize your friendship with your allies. It is often better to mention that the comment was not respectful or funny when alone to see their reaction and whether they’ll apologize. If they show zero contrition you know it was purposeful abuse.
Humor, jokes at your expense, nicknames are insidious. You often don’t know how to react, so you don’t act at all. Meanwhile, it all erodes your confidence, so you cringe at each arrow directed at you. Then you question your actions when you’re not the problem. You’ve done a great job of pointing out the pitfalls. Thank you!
This type of humor is "abuse in camouflage".
But we see it for what it is.
“You have no sense of humor!” Is a statement I have heard many times. Umm, no, its just different than yours (not at my or anyone else’s expense)
When you are belittled and humiliated in front of friends it is almost impossible to bring the abuser to account in the moment as your friends will squirm with discomfort and it may jeopardize your friendship with your allies. It is often better to mention that the comment was not respectful or funny when alone to see their reaction and whether they’ll apologize. If they show zero contrition you know it was purposeful abuse.
Humor, jokes at your expense, nicknames are insidious. You often don’t know how to react, so you don’t act at all. Meanwhile, it all erodes your confidence, so you cringe at each arrow directed at you. Then you question your actions when you’re not the problem. You’ve done a great job of pointing out the pitfalls. Thank you!