In relationships marked by coercive control and domestic abuse, abusers systematically destroy their partner's sense of privacy and personal boundaries.
I really resonate with this. I remember shredding all of my journals, such personal, wonderful journals from moments in my life like taking a one way trip to Hawaii, camping on the beach- things I will never read again. All because I didn’t want him to read something that would trigger him. I deleted my instagram which was a photographic journal of my life, so that he wouldn’t get triggered. It’s so sad.
This is so on point. Thank you for sharing. Hoping everyone who needs this message stumbles across it. It's amazing how far survivors will try and justify this insanity to themselves. This kind of behaviour in a relationship should never be okay. Squishy hugs
Post divorce- a year and a half ago, I am just finding out that my devices/accounts online journals- surveillance was installed long before our divorce. Goal? continue to destroy my autonomy.
Absolutely yes to all of this. The phone surveillance, having to constantly have proof of where I was and who I was with.. My ex also insisted on surveillance cameras in our main living areas so he could pull up the live feed and see what I was doing anytime.
I remember waking up at 2AM to write in my journal — after he was finally asleep or passed out. That’s the only way I could write without him attempting to read over my shoulder. Or finding something else I should be doing rather than “wasting time” on the computer. Once he figured out the password to my computer and went through it while I was out; when I came back he bragged about how easy it was to figure out my password. As far as my paper journals — they all disappeared one day while I was at work. He said he “took them to the dump.” At that time, I had at least 40 years worth of journals in notebooks stored in my great-grandfather’s trunk.
I really resonate with this. I remember shredding all of my journals, such personal, wonderful journals from moments in my life like taking a one way trip to Hawaii, camping on the beach- things I will never read again. All because I didn’t want him to read something that would trigger him. I deleted my instagram which was a photographic journal of my life, so that he wouldn’t get triggered. It’s so sad.
It's awful that you lost all those precious records just to protect yourself. I'm so sorry that was your experience 😔
Omg this is IT! I even got a “message” from the old man… it says that “you are going to be f*cked up now “…
How unnerving to receive a message like that! 😩
They check the mileage on the car to see how many miles you have done that day, to check if you went out and how far.
They check receipts to see what you spent the money on and justify anything that you bought that you didn’t tell ask them if it was okay.
Explain what else you bought that isn’t on the receipt, so they can find out where else you have been, or pretend that you’re were seen out shopping.
For you to then explain literally everywhere you went that day because you were made to feel guilty for doing normal things.
This is so on point. Thank you for sharing. Hoping everyone who needs this message stumbles across it. It's amazing how far survivors will try and justify this insanity to themselves. This kind of behaviour in a relationship should never be okay. Squishy hugs
Post divorce- a year and a half ago, I am just finding out that my devices/accounts online journals- surveillance was installed long before our divorce. Goal? continue to destroy my autonomy.
Still experiencing this. A year and a half post divorce. Surveillance put on all my devices/accounts and just now finding out.
Absolutely yes to all of this. The phone surveillance, having to constantly have proof of where I was and who I was with.. My ex also insisted on surveillance cameras in our main living areas so he could pull up the live feed and see what I was doing anytime.
I still wig out I see a pet cam or ring doorbell.
Omg this absolutely speaks to me.
I remember waking up at 2AM to write in my journal — after he was finally asleep or passed out. That’s the only way I could write without him attempting to read over my shoulder. Or finding something else I should be doing rather than “wasting time” on the computer. Once he figured out the password to my computer and went through it while I was out; when I came back he bragged about how easy it was to figure out my password. As far as my paper journals — they all disappeared one day while I was at work. He said he “took them to the dump.” At that time, I had at least 40 years worth of journals in notebooks stored in my great-grandfather’s trunk.