I think maybe they marry for an ideal mummy slave, and they are still a frighted toddler. The behaviours fit.
This might go both ways, but we cant be their doting mothers forever. Talk to older women. Find out why they are exhausted, while the widows often start thriving.
Married men live longer and die sooner if widowed. Its no always heart break. Its often from not "having to" eat their vegetables ...
Yes, they're not all the same of course, but some abusers are emotionally stunted and have the same sense of entitlement, inability to hear 'No', and boundary crossing as a toddler would - mine was certainly like that.
Yes, singing, music, band membership,concerts/ gigs, reading, cooking all went. I don't believe it is jealousy; it's simply another way to control their target.. Jealousy is too benevolent a word/ concept.
I think maybe they marry for an ideal mummy slave, and they are still a frighted toddler. The behaviours fit.
This might go both ways, but we cant be their doting mothers forever. Talk to older women. Find out why they are exhausted, while the widows often start thriving.
Married men live longer and die sooner if widowed. Its no always heart break. Its often from not "having to" eat their vegetables ...
Yes, they're not all the same of course, but some abusers are emotionally stunted and have the same sense of entitlement, inability to hear 'No', and boundary crossing as a toddler would - mine was certainly like that.
That would have been exhausting and dangerous. Thank you for helping other people see.
Oh, and mummy cant have any other interests than them.
But "not be clingy"...
Yes - all of it. I've been thinking about it a lot and how it's like they take over the self.
this is completely accurate. i know from direct experience.
to all experiencing this or in healing, i send you the best of wishes.
love
In my experience, different types of abusers restrict interests and activities. It's almost a hallmark of abuse.
I was mocked for reading fairytales and told I was, at 11 or 12, to old for them. There was more, of course, in my family of origin.
No wonder I had a string of abusive relationships.
Yes you're right, it doesn't just apply in abusive relationships, but also abusive parents, bosses, and even adult children with their parents.
I'm sorry you experienced this. 😔
Thank you
Yes, singing, music, band membership,concerts/ gigs, reading, cooking all went. I don't believe it is jealousy; it's simply another way to control their target.. Jealousy is too benevolent a word/ concept.